The 12 week rule is an unwritten “rule” that you should wait to share the news of a pregnancy until after 12 weeks, in case of complications or loss.

This is a social construct that has been mislabeled as a “rule” which for some I feel can be more hurtful than helpful!

When I discuss when and with whom my patients should share their exciting news I explore some of these ideas, and let them make their own decision

By keeping an early pregnancy hidden we can give the false impression that it’s not real enough/big enough/important enough yet.  So if that pregnancy miscarries, you may not feel permission or support to grieve the loss.

Also the first trimester can be hard!

How can your village help if no-one knows you need it?!

If there are people in your life you would lean on if you suffered a pregnancy loss, there is no reason you can’t celebrate your pregnancy with them as early as you like!

Also sadly pregnancy loss can happen after 12 weeks, for those who have had 2nd trimester miscarriages, the 12 week rule may feel unfair or falsely reassuring.

So… a new rule! In pregnancy you do whatever you  feel is right for you.

It’s your adventure, shaped by your fertility and pregnancy experiences and your emotional needs, so only you know what is right for you.